I am what I am, by the grace of God. :)

I was packing for the mission trip to Arizona (we leave tomorrow! :D), and I found my little journal of "random thoughts." I sometimes write little blurbs about a quote or song I hear. Anyway, I saw the following from November 2011.....
----
 "One individual life may be of priceless value to God's purposes, and yours may be that life." -Oswald Chambers

"But by the grace of God, I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain..." - 1 Cor. 15:10

       Our lives have an infinite amount of potential. Many times we never see that truth for ourselves or we don't have people around us who remind us of that truth. We tend to allow our weaknesses to take center stage while we push our strengths and wonderful, God-given gifts to the back. Chambers also has suggested that "the way we continually talk about our own inabilities is an insult to our Creator... [by doing so] we accuse God falsely of having overlooked us."
      When I read that today, it struck a chord with me. I am beginning to feel more stretched to go outside my comfort zone and to try new things. I find it exciting to think of the endless possibilities that God sends my way! The future is bright!
     The verse from 1 Cor also stuck out because sometimes I feel inadequate as a person and that my personality is "too much." There is always an element of improvement that is possible, or needs to be paid attention to, but there is also an element that God has created me to be exactly who I am. He has extended His grace that I might use my gifts and talents in His name.
      More than anything, I want to be where he wants me. I want to walk with Him and be shown the endless possibilities of His wonderment. I want to daily be amazed by my journey and His love. That's what I want.
-------------------------

If you've never heard of Oswald Chambers, start by going here: utmost.org. You won't regret it!

In God's perfect timing....

Ok, so my prof was talking about something (I don’t exactly remember now, but regardless…) and he offhandedly said something about Lazarus and how Jesus waited 2 days before going to “see” him. Now, I know the passage in the bible from sermons, Sunday school, and such, but something popped into my head when the prof mentioned it this time and intrigued me greatly. So, like any curious person, I went and re-read the passage (John 11:1-45).  ;)  This is what I thought was interesting….

As you know, the passage starts out with Jesus being notified that His friend, Lazarus (brother of Martha and Mary), was ill. Even though He knew this, it says He “stayed where He was two more days…” (vs 6). This is the first interesting response of Jesus in this passage (I will explain all of these “interesting” things in a minute).

After 2 days, He basically tells His disciples to pack up because Lazarus is “sleeping.” The disciples, as usual, misunderstand and wonder why it matters if he’s sleeping because he will soon get better. Of course, then Jesus has to be blunt and say, “Lazarus is dead” (vs 14). He then says, “for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him” (vs 15). This is the second interesting response of Jesus.

So the disciples go along with Jesus and as they get to the city, Martha meets them outside the gates. She tells Jesus, “…if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask” (vs 21-22). She and Jesus go back and forth for a few verses about what Jesus is going to do about Lazarus and finally tells Martha to go get Mary. So, when Mary gets there, she falls at His feet and says, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (vs 32). Then it says that “when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled” (vs 33). This is the third interesting response.

Ok, so Jesus was troubled and seemed to confuse some of the “tag along” people (see vs 31) because it says they could see that He had really loved Lazarus, but wondered why “Could not He who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?” (vs 37). Finally, Jesus says “Take away the stone” (vs 39). Martha’s response is “But, Lord…by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.” The fourth interesting response by Jesus is in the next verses when He says, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God? … Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me” (vs 40-42).  As you know, Jesus calls to Lazarus and the guy just walks out in all his shroud finery… which I must admit would have really freaked me out!

Ok, so now that I have given you a (sort of long) refresher of the passage, now to my point of what piqued my curiosity…..

Remember those “interesting responses” I kept pointing out? Well, let’s look at the first one. Jesus waited 2 days after hearing of Lazarus’ sickness. Now, Jesus knew that Lazarus would die. He also knew that He was going to perform this miracle. So why not go see the guy, let him die, then raise him up? In my opinion, I think Jesus is giving us a glimpse and metaphor for how God deals with us in a crisis. We ask Him to work things out and to make them better, but we usually want Him to do so in our own time and very visibly (like showing up at the guys death bed). But, God doesn’t work like that. He knows what will happen in the end, but He chooses to work in His own timing and many times behind the scenes.

This brings us to the second interesting response. I think that God does this so that we “may believe.” There is no “faith” without risk. When working in a situation, God wants us to put our faith to work. Many times we question God’s actions and responses to our cries and situations because we do not see the end product yet, but God knows His plan and in many cases is only acting in accordance with what will eventually be only a “step” in His overall goal. Jesus knew that He was going to awake Lazarus. He knew that fact when He delayed His trip. The disciples, Martha, Mary, and the other Jews did not, so to all appearances Jesus had neglected to get there “in time.”

Bringing us to the third point, Jesus is said to have been “deeply moved”- He even wept- when He saw how upset everyone was over Lazarus’ death. I think God is demonstrating here that just because He knows what will occur, does not mean He does not feel or respond to our pain and our perspective that occurs from our limited knowledge.

Finally, the main point that struck me was simply Martha and Jesus’ dialogue before the stone was moved away. Martha, like many of us, still doubted that what Jesus said He would do, would actually occur. She also was quick to point out what could go wrong with Jesus’ little plan of raising Lazarus, “But, Lord…by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.” Do we not do the same!? Do we not come to God asking for His help, requesting that He intervene, and then give Him a bunch of reasons why it can’t happen and reminding Him of all of the obstacles that our little minds have thought up that could prove a difficulty to Him? I mean, if knew I wouldn’t do the same thing, I would exasperatedly say to Martha, “Really?! He basically just said He would make him live again and you are worried about the smell!?”  But seriously, how often do we do that too?  Jesus’ response is priceless, He simply says, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”

And that is simply it. The sum of it. Does He not tell us that if we believe, we will see the glory of God? No matter what. No matter if the situation stinks from 4 days of death, He will give life. No matter if we are still a little doubtful, He will be faithful. No matter if we thought it was “too late,” He will follow through in His perfect timing. No matter if we have already thought all was lost, He will restore. No matter what, He is still God and He is following a plan that is already in motion, and He will see it out….and when He is done, we will see the glory of God. :)

Reflections... A perspective from freshman year

So I was looking for something on my computer and I found this random paper title "Reflections" that I had written my first semester here at LeTourneau. I am about 99% sure that it was for an assignment in Cornerstones (the required course for freshman in order to get your college career started on the right foot). Anyway, regardless, I found it interesting and still applicable today. :)

----------------------

God has created me to be a wonderful godly woman after His own heart. He wants me to seek out and follow the plans He has laid for me. He has created me to be a person of compassion, of love, of respect, and of devotion. The Lord has created me to be His follower and His physical hands. I believe He puts every person and every situation I encounter in my life for a reason. I may not understand the situations or necessarily like either of them, His purpose is divine and higher than mine. I am created to glorify Him through not only my vocation but my occupation as well. 

 

I think that God has called me to use my gifts in accordance with His plan. I am not entirely sure how that will occur, but I trust Him to lead me there. I do have a somewhat general idea of where He is currently leading me. I believe that corporately He would like me to participate in something relating to marketing and possibly youth ministry. I enjoy marketing and get a thrill out of doing activities related with that. I also have a passion for youth ministry so I believe that I will end up doing something in that area as well. I would actually love to do something for a ministry or nonprofit organization. I know God will meet my needs, so I am not too concerned with the amount of money I will be making at a particular job. Individually, I believe He calls me to be a person who will not hesitate to comfort and accept another who is of a different social, cultural, or religious background. He calls me to be a person who will love and forgive others even when they have hurt me or someone I love and to be a friend who is always there when needed. I believe He wants me to be a thoughtful and intentional person throughout my life. In the future I would like, God willing, to be a wife and mother. My hope is that I will be able to participate in the above “corporate” areas while still maintaining a role as a stay at home mom. I am not sure how or if that will work out, but again, I trust God will show me His will. 

 

 Occupationally, I will most likely be doing something related to marketing. Vocationally, I know that I will be participating in something to do with building relationships with people. That is so ingrained in my nature and my strengths I doubt I would ever be able to ignore it. Now whether that will be how I incorporate ministry to youth or whether it will be primarily to my coworkers, I do not know. All I know is that I will feel like something is missing if I am unable to relate and help those around me. 

 

I believe that I can practice both my vocational calling and my occupational calling while here at LeTourneau. Vocationally, I can simply listen and take time to build relationships with those around me. Sometimes students are so focused on the homework or task at hand that they neglect to build relationships with other. There are people who need a listener, a friend, and an occasional “reality checker!” In the future I would also like to become involved in some sort of local ministry. Occupationally, I can become involved in opportunities and events related to my major. I have already joined, and am currently participating in, LeTourneau’s American Marketing Association. Later this semester I will be accompanying the marketing professor to a conference in Dallas for the International Assembly for Collegiate Business Education.

 

I believe that my strengths have influenced my personal growth and development greatly. Although I have my flaws, I do not believe that I would be the person I am if God had not given me the strengths I have and if I had never utilized them. One of my prevalent strength is that of empathy. People are naturally drawn to me as a listener; because of that I have developed worthwhile friendships that I may not have otherwise pursued. I have also learned a great deal of things about life from the experiences others have shared with me. Many times they have stretched and challenged me as well.

 

 

Although I do not know the full extent of God’s plan for me I am willing to wait on His timing to reveal the next step. I am anxiously and excitedly looking forward to the next couple of years and what God has in store for me!